A shocking 86% of Liverpool fans are still lost and unable to select a captain in Fantasy Premier League since the departure of their beloved Stevie Gerrard in 2015, according to the results of a survey carried out this week.
In what is turning out to be a weekly moment of confusion and despair, it is believed that most Liverpool fans have now had to resort to captaining someone else such as Lallana, Henderson, or even Emre Can through severe desperation.
When questioned by a Daily FFD reporter, a Liverpool supporter who claimed to be called Bill Shankly said that he’d turned to drinking Carlsberg every Saturday morning “to ease the pain of Stevie’s departure”.
“Saturday mornings used to be a great time of the week for me. I’d wake up early, make sure that I had 3 Reds in my starting 11 on FPL, then I’d hand the captaincy to Stevie before heading down the pub. He’d never let me down.”
“Since 2015 it’s been a struggle, not just for me but for us all.”
“Nowadays, every weekend when I finalise my fantasy team, I look to make sure that I’ve captained Stevie and he isn’t there. I can’t get used to it. His loss still hasn’t sunk it. Now I have to alternate my captaincy between Mane, Lallana or Clyne – whoever’s in the best form. It’s just not the same”.
“A lot of blues in work are telling me that Lukaku is the best option but I’d still take Clyne over him. He’s a marauding full-back and get’s shit loads of points sometimes.”
“STEEEEVE GERRARD, GERRRRRRARD”