A man who came bottom of his work’s private Fantasy Premier League contest has claimed that the entire game is “complete and utter bulls**t”, after finishing 10th out of 10 and having to pay a fee of £5 to the winner.
Ken Butcher, an office manager in a finance corporation even managed to finish below 68-year-old Eileen Johnson who works in the firm’s canteen and was unethically roped in at the last second to round the league off to 10 players.
A co-worker who didn’t want to be named said: “Ken had started the season as the self-proclaimed favourite since he used to have a season ticket at Wigan Athletic when they were in the Premier League and he ‘knows his stuff’.”
“However, everyone in the office knows that he is a massive c**k and hasn’t even been to a game since they got relegated in 2013.”
Butcher, on the other hand, remains adamant that his football knowledge is vastly superior to that of his colleagues.
“It’s complete bulls**t”, he claimed.
“I used to have a season ticket at Wigan back when we were quite good. I even bumped into Jason Roberts in Tesco and got a photo with him during that first year we had in the Premier League”.
“None of these clowns at work would even recognise him if they saw him on the pitch, let alone in the bread aisle.”
“Kevin, the guy who won, quite clearly picks his team using a roulette wheel, and I’m pretty sure I heard Eileen on the phone to her grandson before the double game week asking for advice on who to captain.”
“It’s all bulls**t”, he claimed once again, before refusing to comment on whether or not any of the other 9 players will be able to keep their jobs moving forward.