A man from Bolton has completed wasted his Fantasy Premier league wildcard in gameweek 2 on a team that is equally as sh*t as his original team, his friends have confirmed today.

John Crumble started the season disappointingly with only 26 points in gameweek 1, and decided to take the last-resort measure in an attempt to gain some ground on the early leaders in his private league.

“I understand that the first week is always difficult because how can I possibly predict which players will start in form?

“Xhaka, for example. He got 2 assists in gameweek 1, and that Moon-something for Huddersfield looked pretty good – so I whacked them in as part of my 9 changes thanks to my wildcard.

“I thought things were looking good for this week, but somehow I got even less than week 1?!”

Mr Crumble’s friends were less sympathetic however, claiming that it just proves how utterly stupid their pal actually is.

“We always tell John that he’s always chatting sh*t when it comes to the footy. He subbed Kevin de Bruyne out and put Xhaka in. Need we say any more?

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“Oh yeah and he supports Aston Villa after spending his first year at the University of Aston. Nobody who has a clue about football would ever voluntarily do that.

“Oh yeah, and he failed that year at uni because he couldn’t hack it. He’s pretty useless!”

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