Absolutely nobody is interested in this weekend’s FA Cup final between Arsenal and Chelsea since there is no fantasy football to make it more interesting, according to the results of a study.
The survey carried out this week on 2,000 self-proclaimed ‘football fans’, found that only 4% are planning to watch the 2 London heavyweights slogging it out for silverware, as without fantasy football, there is absolutely no point.
Arsenal season-ticket holder John Butcher claims that his desire for The Gunners to win the FA Cup pales in comparison for his desire to see his fantasy team win the Fantasy Premier League Cup, which he bombed out of in January after a dismal 27-64 defeat at the hands of Benteke Fried Chicken.
“I’d like us to beat Chelsea tomorrow as it’d definitely soften the blow of my embarrassing FPL Cup defeat back in January. That loss to Benteke Fried Chicken cut me deep… whoever this guy is, he was playing Niang and Deeney upfront for god’s sake but he absolutely pasted me.”
Meanwhile, avid Chelsea supporter Alfie Merriweather said that without fantasy football, he probably won’t bother watching the match at all this weekend.
“I’m normally really excited when Chelsea play. When we score, I get that buzz of finding out whether Hazard scored it… or at least if he got an assist. He’s my long-term captain.”
“Without fantasy football though, what’s even the point? We might as well just do rock paper scissors for the trophy and get it all over with, that’d save the fans both time and money.”
“F**k it, I’ll probably watch skiing on Grandstand instead”.