Peter Crouch is officially the most hated player in the Premier League after his late equaliser at West Brom on Sunday cost almost everybody many, many points on Fantasy Premier League.

With a seemingly endless run of wonderful fixtures, large quantities of FPL managers had opted to draft 1 or in many cases 2 of the West Brom rearguard – thinking that clean sheet bonuses were a done deal thanks to the visit of Stoke City.

John Crumble from Plymouth told our reporter that he even wasted his wildcard to go mental on West Brom players prior to game week 3, only for Crouch and Stoke to really, really p*ss him off.

“I looked at the fixtures and saw that West Brom were playing Stoke. Everybody knows that Stoke never score, like, ever… so I activated my wildcard and threw Ben Foster, Hegazi and Dawson in there.

“When Crouch scored, it not only cost me chunks of clean sheet bonuses, but I’m also now having to use my sister’s old Motorola brick phone because I smashed my iPhone to pieces after checking the latest scores on there.

“It was a bad weekend.”

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Opta spokesman Jeremy Johnson confirmed that the Crouch goal was quite unexpected by many a person in the footballing world.

“Most Fantasy Premier League managers who had West Brom defenders are feeling quite aggrieved right now, and rightly so. After the game we checked the historical Opta statistics and can confirm that this goal was in fact the first one that Stoke have ever scored on record.

“Infact, it’s the first recorded goal by any Mark Hughes side since statistics were invented.”

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